Building trust step by step (or one walk at a time)

Sophie’s parents split up when she was a baby, which led to Mom having full custody.  While Sophie formed a loving bond with her mother as she grew older, her dad had put minimal time or effort into getting to know her.  When Sophie turned ten years old, her world changed for the worse.  Mom’s new partner started living with them, and the mother-daughter pair were faced with terrible abuse. This tragedy quickly caught the attention of Sophie’s school, and she was removed from the home to safety.  Sophie needed a stable, caring environment while Mom addressed the circumstances that led to her removal.  Where would she go?  The next best option was living with her biological dad—a man with whom she had never formed a real relationship.  Furthermore, her life experiences had left her feeling scared of new people, especially men.  Even though she was encouraged that things would be better, Sophie still had major doubts.

Over the past few years, Dad’s life had been filled with uncertainty, overcoming challenges, and self-discovery.  He moved back in with his parents, his brothers, and nieces and nephews, creating a supportive, multigenerational household.  Skepticism engulfed Sophie when she arrived at their door. This place was a new part of town; she felt like she was living among strangers.  When Sophie and her dad started their Savio Family Wellness services, they were both at a loss as to all the potential their father-daughter relationship could have.  “I don’t know how to be a parent,” Dad shyly disclosed to his Savio therapist during one of their sessions.  Their therapist looked at Dad’s downcast face and recalled Sophie’s words from a previous discussion: “I just want to feel like someone cares about me.  Not just sometimes… but all the time.” Their therapist knew that the help this family needed relied on a practice we can all take for granted—spending regular, quality time together.  With Sophie’s apprehension towards her new surroundings, their therapist recommended that they take regular walks to get to know her neighborhood better and gain a sense of safety for the new people and places.  After school, Sophie and Dad would do their daily tradition of exploring nearby parks and stores, the houses of family friends, and finally back home again. Walking together allowed them to start conversing about their days, learning about things they had in common, and planning hopes and dreams for the future. Sometimes, her cousins would join in, and these newfound friends would race Sophie to the playground for a nearby adventure.

Sophie had arrived at her situation filled with fears. But, with the help of their Savio therapist, Sophie gained a new outlook on the possibility to have healthy relationships with male figures in her life and learned that “new” didn’t have to mean bad. From then on, Sophie’s world has opened up to finding resilience in transitions and knowing that her family loves her. In turn, Sophie’s dad realized that he always had the ability to be the parent he wanted to be. Their therapist finished this father and daughter’s last session and glanced back to see them leave the house again for their daily walk, knowing that they weren’t just going around a few blocks but toward a brighter future together.