Childhood Trauma and Healing
We sat down with Savio’s Child First program supervisor, Taylore Thorsen, MA, LPCC, to discuss how children can experience trauma and what their grownups can do to support them in the journey towards healing.
How do traumatic experiences affect kids differently than adults?
TT: The diagnostic criteria for kids actually looks similar to criteria for adults. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) diagnoses in children include regular PTSD symptoms, but oftentimes children are less likely to be believed that what they’re experiencing is related to trauma. Kids also might not have the language to explain what’s going on for them internally. They may show their behaviors to others through play or actions, such as being aggressive with toys, or being aggressive with peers, or having relationship struggles in general. For example, if a child is throwing their doll against the wall, it could be speaking to a bigger experience going on.
Which subtle signs of trauma should caregivers be aware of?
TT: Well, there’s “Big T” trauma and “Little t” trauma. “Big T” trauma is often related to life-threatening or dangerous events. “Little t” traumas are also very distressing on a personal level, but the event may not be associated with bodily harm; “Little t” trauma can also be ongoing exposure. Both forms of trauma can show up in very early stages of development. Babies may show signs of “Big T” with arching their backs, big struggles with being held, and rigidness. Kids may show signs such as having nightmares or going into “freeze” mode. They may also be having accidents beyond an appropriate developmental level. Kids can often have physical experiences such as complaining of tummy aches, headaches, or throwing up. Behaviorally, they may hide when a certain adult comes around or they may have a HUGE fear of going to school. On the other hand, things may not be safe at home, and they don’t want to leave their school environment.
With “Little t” trauma, kids may not have comfort in going to any adult for assistance. There should be a healthy level of “stranger danger.” But for kids going through disruptions, they have trouble talking to any adult in a personal or public setting at ALL times. So, there should be apprehension, but not all the time.
What are the biggest misconceptions you’ve heard about childhood trauma?
TT: People think it doesn’t exist. Not that trauma doesn’t exist, but that kids can’t have mental health struggles. For example, maybe there’s a 5-year-old feeling anxious, but an adult in their life might think, “Life gets so much harder, how can he be going through trauma? He doesn’t understand what problems really are.” Also, there are some adults who don’t feel they need to get involved because it is not their issue. The parent-child relationship is important; research shows that what caregivers experience can impact their kids’ experiences. And then there are some parents that think, “What if my kid can never be okay because of my own life’s trauma?” While that thought can pop up, it’s important to remember that we can intervene with the cycles. Yes, trauma can stem from attachment disruption or struggles with relationships. This does not mean it’s the caregivers’ fault, sometimes the relationship dynamics just need a tune-up.
Why do some individuals develop PTSD but not others?
TT: I think it’s different life exposure to different stressors. And then we have different relationships in place to address, or not address, those stressors. People may not have the team or financial resources to address issues to prevent them from becoming perpetual.
Where do you see gaps in trauma care?
TT: Prenatal care and looking at caregivers’ perspectives of their pregnancies. It’s important to incorporate maternal mental health care and to help parents explore the relationship they have with their child before giving birth. There can be very little check-in with mental health during pregnancy, especially if you don’t have access to healthcare. These individuals need more support and resources. Additionally, having support with traumatic birth experiences and caring for how that may impact parent-child relationships. Paternal health needs also need to be addressed. Fathers can have postpartum depression, anxiety, and sleep deprivation all while learning to be a parent.
Circling back to the cycles, in what ways can parents pass down generational trauma when they start their own families? What steps can people take to address it?
TT: Some parents might not acknowledge or be aware of the negative cycles that are in their system. The first step, and the hardest, is acknowledging that they exist. In Child First, we do child trauma assessments, but we also do caregiver trauma assessments. We look at the trauma caregivers were exposed to when they were under 18 years old as well as the trauma they’ve experienced since they turned 18 years old.
There are some helpful next steps as well. Talking to your child as though they’re a real person with real feelings is so important. Parents journaling about what their child is doing and observing them, followed by asking themselves reflective questions such as, “What did I go through [in life] that makes me react like this [to their behavior]?” Furthermore, there are really great support groups out there that address trauma, especially for single parents. Being able to talk to people with shared experiences is game changing.
What is Child First programming and what are the goals?
TT: Child First is national, evidence-based model that helps young children and families who live in environments where there is violence, neglect, mental illness, and/or substance abuse. These stressors can be harmful during a child’s development, so Child First works to prevent long-term harm. We utilize this model at Savio.
It’s a two-generation model. We say the child is not our client, and the caregiver is not our client, but the relationship between the two of them. Our goal is to strengthen the attachment bond and address the trauma that has occurred within the family system. Our aim is to leave their relationship stronger than we found it. By the end of treatment, we determine success when a caregiver can identify what they want to do different moving forward, can identify themselves as a good parent, has safety for themselves and their child, and can recognize how hard they try every day and never give up no matter how challenging it gets.
What is the two-generational approach and how is Child First different than other trauma treatments?
TT: It’s a double scoop of two perspectives at the same time. Yes, keeping the child’s view in mind but also the caregivers’ view. And looking at how those views interact. In treatment, a Child First therapist can be the voice for young kids who can’t express their feelings or may be nonverbal. We give them the outlet to share through the most common language kids have—play. Caregivers can play with their child in therapy, which is interactive, and our therapists can help interpret what play means to their caregivers. We also provide therapy in the home.
What benefits do you see from providing services in each family’s home environment and incorporating community?
TT: Home-based services are more sustainable over time because you are making changes in the everyday environment vs. a controlled office environment. We remove barriers to public transport or finding childcare. It’s extremely accessible. Kids also can feel more comfortable in their home environment; they can be more open and more expressive. The treatment team can also see negative cycles up front and instill change right then and there. The team might catch something the parents might not be aware of as a problem, such as certain babyproofing of the house.
Were you ever surprised or did you learn something new while working with families going through these experiences?
TT: While I understand where it’s coming from, I was surprised by how many caregivers feel alone. People truly don’t give themselves enough credit for all they do. Bad parents don’t sit around wondering if they’re bad parents. Our families are putting in the work. It’s also amazing to see how consistent Child First is and how across the board it really encourages kids to feel safe to share— and that’s always amazing to hear.
Can you name one “AHA!” moment you had as a therapist when you realized that the changes a family was making were going to last beyond treatment?
TT: One client told me, “Being in this program helps me know that I have the ability to do things differently… I’m learning so much about how I’m not a bad parent… I’m not alone, and I can make things different than when I was a child.” Seeing someone know they’re capable and that they can do it on their own is how I know things will continue to get better.
What is your biggest advice for anyone who is starting their own journey in healing trauma?
TT: Starting is the hardest part—it’s like working out. You’re going to have steps back…and that’s where a lot of people stop doing the work. Don’t give up if something doesn’t go in the exact direction you’d like! Healing isn’t always a clear path up.
What is your biggest advice to caregivers who are helping their children cope with traumatic circumstances?
TT: Children are resilient. They are more likely to heal from childhood trauma when they have a safe, attuned caregiver who supports them throughout the journey. Make sure you take care of yourself and your own lived experience so that you can be present in supporting your child. Things are reversable! Every age group has an intervention. Data shows healing is possible and for kids the number one factor is having a caregiver who is a safe adult for them.
What is the one takeaway you want people to take with them after learning more about childhood trauma?
TT: There’s hope. So many people like researchers and clinicians are constantly increasing support for adults with the aim of lessening childhood trauma.
“Being in this program helps me know that I have the ability to do things differently… I’m learning so much about how I’m not a bad parent… I’m not alone, and I can make things different than when I was a child.”
Thank you for your insights, Taylore!
For more questions about Child First, you can reach out to us at info@saviohouse.org