How will fostering affect my family?
Memories from my family’s experience fostering
By Holly Larson
My family of 5 started fostering around 1980. I was 10, my brother was 7 and my sister was 5. My dad was a physician working 6 long days per week and my mom was a volunteer/philanthropist/stay at home Mom.
We got involved with Foster Care because my mom was on a community advisory board, looking at family issues in the community, with a woman that ran Hepzibah Home, a place for troubled and/or needy children. They asked my mom if she would consider taking in some of the kids that were awaiting adoption. My mom said “absolutely” and the interview process began quickly, since the need for helping homes was so great.
My family was actually the first family licensed in Oak Park, IL by Hepzibah Home and our first foster kids were their first “case”. Our family agreed to be a short-term foster home, which meant taking kids for up to two weeks per stay.
At first, I was very skeptical of being a foster sister. As a 5th grader, I didn’t like the idea of sharing my house, my bedroom, my toys, my food and my parents with strangers. It was definitely an unsettling concept for a ten-year-old, but ultimately, I trusted my Mom’s judgment.
“At first, I was very skeptical of being a foster sister. As a 5th grader, I didn’t like the idea of sharing my house, my bedroom, my toys, my food and my parents with strangers. It was definitely an unsettling concept for a ten-year-old, but ultimately, I trusted my Mom’s judgment.”
Our first two foster kids, John and Anne Marie, brother and sister aged 8 and 5, stayed with us for two full years before finally getting adopted by a loving home nearby. While it was an awkward transition, welcoming 2 elementary aged kids into our home, we quickly came to realize that what foster kids wanted were the exact same things that we wanted. They wanted to feel safe, to feel loved and to feel wanted. They wanted their basic human needs met; food, clothing, warmth and shelter. We learned that our mom actually had plenty of love and food for everyone and we learned that it felt pretty amazing to share and help other kids. While it was sometimes a little hectic having 5 kids in our home, it was usually pretty fun and lively.
Over the next 8 years we had 20-30 foster kids, ranging from newborn to teenagers, for stays from a few nights to a few months. My mom tried to keep the foster kids ages within our ages, not having anyone older than I was at the time.
Some experiences were a lot more fun than others as the cases really varied. Some of the cases were really sad when we housed kids that had been physically or emotionally abused. I’ll never forget the 8th month old baby that came to us with a completely stitched up skull. This is pretty eye opening at any age and really teaches you to be grateful for a kind and loving family.
Looking back, the single biggest impact fostering had on me as a child was learning how good it feels to “give” at an early age. What I’d say to a family who has children and is considering fostering is this: Being a Foster Family will change you and challenge you in ways you never imagined. It will open your heart and your mind bigger than you knew you could love.
“Being a Foster Family will change you and challenge you in ways you never imagined. It will open your heart and your mind bigger than you knew you could love.”
While your children might be concerned at first, they’ll become more kind, generous and compassionate people from this experience. Foster Care changes lives. Not just the lives of the kids that it helps, but also the lives of the families that provide loving homes.
Special thanks to Holly Larson for sharing her experience.
Interested in becoming a foster family? Contact us below for more information