Skylar's Story: Overcoming Addiction as a Family

Skylar was a young mother, barely out of her teens, when her daughter was born. Although she loved her baby with all her might, she was caught up in a storm of challenges that took over her life: fentanyl addiction. Its grip was unrelenting as she tried to hold on to both her daughter and the feelings of escape her usage provided. This world was also all Skylar knew. Generations of parents and grandparents had used various substances over the years, all with their own stories and struggles, but all with the same result— family chaos and troubled relationships.

Just a few months after her daughter was born, Skylar found herself in unknown territory—child services had become aware of her circumstances and removed her daughter to the care of her aunt. In the blur changes, a stark reality made her heart sank: she wouldn’t be able to hold her daughter every day or kiss her goodnight when she went to sleep . She started grieving the loss of missing her daughter saying her first words and taking her first steps. With the pain of seeing her daughter’s empty crib each morning, Skylar started using even more. Her case worker saw her growing more and more distant from her goal of having her daughter back; she was referred to inpatient care. “No chance,” Skylar shook her head listlessly, “I don’t know anyone who has been able to stay sober so why try? Why would it work for me if help never worked for them?” While sporadically attending treatment to fulfill court requirements, the image of her daughter was always at the forefront of her mind. She started to miss her smile more and more. Her giggles when they played. And even the looks her daughter would give her when she was feeling upset and needed Mommy. Skylar knew she wanted to be the one to raise her daughter; and she knew she couldn’t get the help she needed to reach that future alone.

Skylar decided to participate in Savio’s Family Integrated Treatment (FIT) Court. The voluntary program is designed to help families who are involved in the child welfare system due to parental substance misuse with the goal of providing caregivers with the support they need overcome addiction and rebuild their lives together with their children. Through FIT Court, Skylar was introduced to her Savio team; their curiosity of Skylar’s experience, instead of judgment, already made her feel like she was on a different path. Through the collaborative efforts of her therapists, case workers, and judge, she found herself motivated to enter and complete a three month long inpatient treatment program knowing that holding her daughter in her arms again was just on the other side.  The time without her daughter and the difficulty of facing her past made it a difficult 90 days.  But on the other side she heard the judge praising her progress, commitment to maintaining sobriety, and work to become a better mother. “I’m so proud of you,” the judge said, “I know you are ready to move on to the next chapter in your family’s story.” Skylar had regained custody of her daughter.

She didn’t realize how complicated hearing those words would be. Skylar always envisioned being overcome with joy…and while she felt more happiness than ever before in her life, she also carried a sense of dread. Throughout the last several months she had solely been focused on her own needs. Taking care of herself. Now, she had her small daughter looking to her to meet all of her needs. Overwhelmed with how to integrate the skills she learned with everyday life, Skylar’s Savio therapist reminded her of how far she had come. “You can do this,” she reminded Skylar, “You’ve been doing the work and we’re with you every step of the way to help as you move forward.” Because inpatient care had been a critical step in Skylar’s path to wellness, she and her Savio team started searching for similar programs that would allow the twenty-year-old to have consistent supervised care while living out her role as an active parent with her daughter. The options were devastatingly slim. Due to a stroke of great luck and chance timing, a space in a small program became available. This program allowed very few mothers, and only those with babies, to receive housing and treatment for addiction. Her arrival there, an opportunity available to so little, was a safe haven.

When Skylar moved in, she was able to focus with her Savio team.  She and her team actively practiced life skills and saw how those could help her daughter succeed. They reviewed the pros and the cons of her previous lifestyle, the pros and cons of how treatment helped her, and how and why she wanted to stay on the path she was on. But most importantly, her therapist reminded her: “You are naturally an amazing parent.” She helped Skylar see that when she was able to show up for her daughter, she was wonderful at it. And that her past experiences and the generations of use before her didn’t define what she was capable of moving forward.

Skylar realized how game-changing it was to have her daughter with her while seeking help. Before, when only allowed to see her daughter occasionally on supervised visits, she would have downtime. And that downtime would open up opportunities to use again or engage with unhealthy people and places. Here she was secure. Her schedule of waking up, caring for her daughter, going to medical appointments, doing chores and errands, and doing bedtime routines became established; she was able to be more present for the continuity of little moments, the little laughs, the baby-talk conversations with her daughter, that make life so magical. Skylar slowly started to believe the feedback her therapist gave her. Maybe she was a great parent. Maybe she did just need that extra aid to reach a place of sobriety to make all of this happen.

As Skylar has been nearing the end of her time with Savio, she has been working with them to plan ahead. When her daughter grows older and eventually enters daycare, she aims to work and continue treatment. While she faces ongoing challenges, including housing instability when she graduates from her current program, she is hopeful for the future. Skylar’s journey is a testament to how a parent’s resilience and unwavering love for their children can break cycles and beat the odds. As she ended her most recent Savio session, Skylar carried her daughter to crib, and before turning off the light, realized that because of her own efforts, that crib would never have to be empty again.

Unfortunately very few programs in Colorado allow mothers with children, and none allow those with partners or older children to enter treatment with their family. Savio is on a mission to change this. We are creating the Bluestem Program to help more families receive this life-changing care. Learn more about Savio's Bluestem Program here.